Tag: amniotic leak

Kekua 0:00  

I was definitely none of this. I walked out of the hospital looking great kind of thing. And I stayed. I still look pregnant. She was born December 12. Of course our Christmas pictures December 25. I still look like I was it’s yeah.

 

Paulette kamenecka  0:19  

I remember being shocked that after the birth I still had the belly. I was like, What? What else is in there? go look.

 

Kekua 0:27  

I use Orion huge it was.

 

Paulette kamenecka  0:29  

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And did you guys breastfeed or anything? I was sleeping. I was all that.

 

Kekua 0:35  

I did. You know, the La Leche League and lactation consultants come in and ask you if that’s what you want to do. So of course I did. I wanted to do whatever, you know, was the naturalistic most healthy, not to mention

 

Paulette kamenecka  0:51  

the first

 

Kekua 0:57  

engaged learning process, both of you got that she was able to get it, you know, we found our little rhythm. And then after that, it was like, it was like old hat. It was such it’s almost indescribable. Like the, the closeness and the bond that you get to create with your child when you’re a nursing mother is unique. I can’t there’s really nothing that I can compare that to, like when you look down on your baby’s looking right at you and they’re so close. And you’re really skin to skin. And I know a lot of mothers are scared of it because it can be like a strange experience. Once you get over that initial challenge. It’s such a beautiful experience. That was a wonderful wish I had but I didn’t know I didn’t know that I could just not give her formula. So when she was getting older, I got worried that she wasn’t getting enough. Yeah. And so I would supplement with formula. And of course, if you replace some of the meals, that means there’s less physical demand. So then your body produces less so that’s kind of like a cycle. So she ended up weaned off by the time she hit like 11 months, so she didn’t get a full year. I do regret that. I wish I had had her longer. I nursed my son for about a year and a half. His immune system is solid and hers is not so much and there are times when I have you know mother guilt, right? If it goes off in parts of your life, there are times when I’m like, That’s my fault. You get sick because of me. Although not but you know, Mother guilt tells you that everything is

 

Paulette kamenecka  2:53  

your fault. I feel like the good news and the bad news is you feel responsible for everything but you don’t really have control over everything. Once you find the point where those two intersect, it’s a much happier medium because then you don’t feel responsible for her coming home sick in 10th grade. Right? It is more palpable. But so what’s the age difference between the kids?

 

Kekua 3:15  

Almost exactly two years. They’re two years and 13 days apart? Yes, he she so she’s been born on December 12. He was actually born on his due date of Christmas. Oh, wow. Oh

 

Paulette kamenecka  3:29  

my god. Wow. What a holiday season at your house. Good Lord. So you weren’t happy to walk into the first one. Were you were happier for the second one.

 

Kekua 3:37  

I wanted the second one. I loved the her mother’s so much that I wanted. I did not love pregnancy. But like I said from the second she came out. I wanted to repeat that and I wanted wanted a girl because she was so perfect. And just joy is all of those things that I wanted to do that exact I didn’t get. I didn’t get her.

 

Paulette kamenecka  4:04  

We rarely do we really roll the dice you can’t count. So did you get pregnant easily again, the second time?

 

Kekua 4:12  

I think so. I think it was fairly easily when I had made the decision. I I said okay, we’re doing this, like we’re doing this. And he was like okay, and I think he underestimated how much of doing this was going to come along with that because like I meant it when I said I want another baby. Yeah. And I would say it didn’t take but another month maybe it was two months. It was long enough that he started to be like please, please can we stop but you know, we made a deal. We made a deal. This is what we’re doing.

 

Paulette kamenecka  4:50  

That’s the thing trying makes it hard. Right? Once you’re trying that it’s harder in part because you’re watching it so closely and you’re just just harder. So was the second pregnancy easier because you know what to expect or what was that like?

 

Kekua 5:04  

Yes and no so like the first pregnancy, medically speaking, did not really have too many problems. I was not supposed to do as much as I did. But you know, there wasn’t really no choice. Things had to be done and to work and things like that with the second one. It was emotionally much easier. Obviously because they wanted this to happen. I was not supposed to be very active because I had a bit of an amniotic fluid leak. So it wasn’t enough for them to be very, very concerned. But it was pretty consistent. There was I guess a pinhole leak Yeah, so I wasn’t supposed to be up and about it wasn’t supposed to be super active. But again, then I already had a child. You know, the house has to get cleaned. I very, very insistent on everyday had to be vacuumed because we did have dogs. Yeah. My babies to be able to be honest, four dishes of course have to get done you know, have to cook and do all those things. It did not get much assistance from my husband. So you know she should have to get done.

 

Paulette kamenecka  6:11  

So were they telling you to to be active because there was a hope that the the bag of waters would seal itself or they just thought it would leak less if you did

 

Kekua 6:20  

less stuff. So for the amount that it was It wasn’t dangerous, but they were concerned that if I was too active, it would become a larger leak or you know create a rupture or something that then it would require bed rest or hospitalization or something.

 

Paulette kamenecka  6:36  

So that was the only thing you were it sounds like you were watching for your pregnancy and then do you have a different vision of the birth of a second one other than less than 40 hours?

 

Kekua 6:45  

Yes, I knew that I was going to wait until because I knew what it felt like when she was ready. To come out. I remember Surprisingly even though I had an epidural i from the inside I was I okay now now she’s coming down. So I knew that I was going to wait as long as possible because I did not want to lay in the bed. Pretty horrors again. And this time I was having all the false Labor’s the Braxton Hicks and stuff. So I was standing at the table wrapping Christmas presents because it’s Christmas Eve, and I’m having all the Braxton Hicks and I’m like oh man. It’s really it’s close. He’s going to be here pretty soon. But I wrapped up all the presidents and I put him under the tree. And I went to bed. So this was probably along the lines of You know, one or two in the morning because you put the baby to bed first right and then we’ll go find all the things that you’ve been through the house and all of that. So I went and I wrapped them up, put them under the tree went to bed and I woke up around around five something 530 And I woke up because it had gotten enough that I was kind of like oh, man, this false labor. And then I laid there for a little while long and I was like, oh, it’s not false.

 

Paulette kamenecka  8:11  

Because you noticed they were regular or what was the what was

 

Kekua 8:15  

different? It felt not just stronger, but it felt different. And I realized I was like, oh this is not the same that I’ve been having for the last couple weeks. This is actual This is really over and I could feel pressure on my cervix. So not like giving birth pressure but I could feel that as you know everything contracts and pushes down onto the cervix. I can feel that but it was still very early in the morning so my daughter was in bed with myself and my husband so I woke him up. And I said, I’m gonna have mom drive me to the hospital when she wakes up. Then you guys come he’s like, Well, just from now like don’t wake her up. I’m like for what Leah was 40 hours last night. Just just come she’s gonna wake up in a couple hours. So we’re just gonna go ahead and then you guys come in when she gets up. So I went with my mom without their admit me and they do their little pre check. And they’re all you know, is dad involved, you know, all those normal questions and I was like, yeah, he’s you know, baby still sleeping. So they’ll be here when she wakes up. And they said, Well, you know if he wants to be here, he should probably come right now. Wow. Really? So I call him I’m like, Hey, he’s like I was already getting ready. I wasn’t gonna listen to you. So they’re trying to monitor right? So they put the belly band off to kind of monitor contractions. And they don’t like the way his heart rate seems to lessen with each contraction. So they decide they want to you know, after a little while of this they decide they want to put the so there’s a secondary kind of monitor but it’s more invasive where they’ll attach it to the skull and then just kind of focus in they want to monitor him more tightly than what they’re seeing on the van because they don’t like what they’re seeing on the van. So when they broke the water that was it is go time. Oh wow. Water to put that on his. And the moment they broke the water. He was like, Oh, all right. And he wanted to come out. So the nurse had to like hold him in. And because she was doing that. She felt that what was happening was his cord was wrapped around the top of his head, not around his neck, but it went over his head. So each time there was a contraction cord against his skull was being compressed and that was why his heart rate would drop a little bit because the oxygen from the cord would get cut off a little bit. So they couldn’t let him come out because if he comes out with squirt first and that that kind of tangled man who gets stuck somewhere in the birth now most likely that means he’s entangled in it somehow. So they’re holding him in. Literally,

 

Paulette kamenecka  11:10  

this this seems comfortable. Is this how are you?

 

Kekua 11:14  

It was it was yeah, it was something because they had just given me the epidural. Now it’s like look, I don’t like having medication. Who would I remember last time and I would like to collectively have that before it gets bad and it’s hard to give it to me because I don’t want to have any problems with my spine. So they just given like it hadn’t taken effect. Literally this is like moments later. And because she’s holding him in he turned out to be a very tactile sensitive child, because she’s holding him and he does not like that. So he started squirming around so he spins around. And then he is breech. And my God. Oh shit. Well, he can’t come out like this and he’s wrapped up in his cord. So she’s literally holding him in there and the doctor says things are gonna have to really quickly right now.

 

Paulette kamenecka  12:03  

waterworks

 

Kekua 12:04  

because I’m like,

 

Paulette kamenecka  12:05  

oh my god,

 

Kekua 12:06  

this is this is terrible. Something’s going wrong. And they they will move over to the operating room. So this is the crash C section. I didn’t know there was anything called the crash section. And so like I’m terrified the panic because I think I’m going to die and now my baby has been long

 

Paulette kamenecka  12:25  

wait, wait so let’s go slow here. Why does this make you think you’re gonna die as someone miscommunicated to you or have you thought about this

 

Kekua 12:33  

is just my own internal fear like something is going very wrong. Okay. It’s more important for them to move than it is for them to explain to me what’s going on.

 

Paulette kamenecka  12:43  

Okay, yeah, the rapidity is unnerving. I

 

Kekua 12:46  

agree. Yeah. So, so they will be over because I had had the epidural. They didn’t give me any and they also did not have much time to wait so they didn’t give me any anesthesia.

 

Paulette kamenecka  12:57  

Is your mom like holding your hand while you’re flying through the corridor? No,

 

Kekua 13:01  

1. I cannot remember. Where my mom is at this point of I know she’s she’s somewhere nearby. And I know I remember that. I said things to her but I can’t remember seeing her or I can’t remember what I said.

 

Paulette kamenecka  13:17  

Okay, I’m concerned that cuckoo year is alone in her time of need. This is why I’m

 

Kekua 13:22  

focused on she was she was there about I remember as I went out the door because she couldn’t come in. Yeah, as I went out the door she said I love you. I remember that. Scared me even more. Yes.

 

Paulette kamenecka  13:37  

I’ll never forget you. Thanks.

 

Kekua 13:39  

Yes, that’s what it felt like. Yeah. So so they will be in there and because I didn’t have any other kind of anesthesia. I felt all of it because it happens so very quickly, that it was before the epidural could take effect in my system. Like, like so rapid, everything from the time that they gave me the epidural to the time that they put on his birth certificate was literally like, eight minutes.

 

Paulette kamenecka  14:09  

Oh my god. Yeah. So does that mean you can feel the scalpel? That’s painful. No.

 

Kekua 14:17  

I yeah, I felt I felt I could feel the that you know, like it’s a suturing suturing soldering. Right so that you don’t need all of that.

 

Paulette kamenecka  14:30  

That sounds unbelievably painful.

 

Kekua 14:33  

It was painful, but it was for some reason in the moment, I was able to take my mind away from this because I was running through so many other things. I could feel that it hurt it hurt but I was so terrified of bigger things that the pain did not matter a whole lot.

 

Paulette kamenecka  14:59  

At the moment. Maybe your adrenaline of panic was dampening the effect. I

 

Kekua 15:07  

tend to agree with you. Yeah.

 

Paulette kamenecka  15:11  

So they they take them out and are you communicating? I can feel this or what’s going

 

Kekua 15:15  

on for now. I’m not communicating at all. I’m entirely in my head. I want to say within moments of them, pulling him out, which is the most disgusting feeling I have ever had. It’s weird. Him coming out but then rooting around to get a hold of him. Because you feel all that pressure in your abdominal cavity right so your your guts literally feel like they’re beasts third that was that was the most there was a brief moment where I thought that was gonna make me throw up because

 

Paulette kamenecka  15:47  

is it so I had two C sections and it feels like you’re like a roller coaster. Right like all your all your internal organs are moving around in a way that doesn’t seem right.

 

Kekua 15:59  

Which is funny because they’re not moving at all. But the pressure that you’re feeling really feel like everything is beats. Yep, yep, yep. So they pull him out. And I think at this so around the time that they pull him out, the epidural is starting to take effect. In fact, I think it was probably moments before that because I don’t remember feeling. So like when they put in for c section right? Horizontally, but when they get to the layer of muscle we don’t cut a separate a long villain Niantic nigra. There is I don’t remember feeling that part. So it probably was moments before they pulled him out actually with the epidural starting to take effect. But a few moments after they had full came out, which I did not realize and most people don’t realize they actually pull your uterus help kind of wash it and push it back in. And like make sure that the placenta has detached all the way and stuff. And at the moment that my uterus is out on my belly is when they brought my then husband in. He’s expecting you know, he’s gonna go into the labor room and I’m gonna be halfway through pushing and he’s gonna be like, No, he walked in and, you know, some of my guts are out on my belly in the last birth. He just kind of stands there with his mouth open, but he doesn’t know what to do. So yes, you walked in and I’m looking at him and he’s making that face again. And then he stands there for a moment or two. While they’re cleaning. He hasn’t seen my son yet because he’s off to the side. We went down. So he’s just standing there. He doesn’t. She said he didn’t know if I was dying. Because that’s you know, scary. Is he talking for sure the normal to them because that’s just how it works. But I wasn’t ready for that. So that maybe overdue. So, for me to see, by that point exhaustion had started to take effect and maybe they had given me other things that I was too exhausted to realize, but I could see him I saw that he was healthy. He was you know, normal color and all that stuff. And I just checked out at that moment. Like at that moment I was done. I remember them we need to call the recovery. Room. And all I wanted to know was where my daughter was. They hadn’t seen her so they held her up. Now brought on another wave of tears because that was like ruining Christmas. Morning and you know all of these things and I was like before baby girl. And they were like, here’s the baby you know, here’s baby don’t freak out. I saw him and I checked out again and I feel like I was not feel like I feel like because I was my ex husband told me afterwards I was mostly unconscious for at least a whole day after that just asleep kind of recovering from you know, the medical and emotional trauma of all of that. He was like it was great. I watched TV the whole time and there was football in the room you didn’t even know or care.

 

Paulette kamenecka  19:05  

I can’t imagine you’ve had a day. That’s been a day for sure. Now when they whipped you into surgery, do they have enough time to put up the curtain or you got to see all the surgical stuff.

 

Kekua 19:15  

There was a curtain I had wanted to watch. But generally speaking they don’t allow that because it makes people even more nauseated. I remember thinking it to myself, but I did not ask can I see? I think I was the you know, in hindsight, I was probably in a little bit of shock. Because everything was functioning on the inside, but not necessarily.

 

Paulette kamenecka  19:37  

Yeah. Yeah. Holy crap, man. That’s a that was a whirlwind of birth. Yeah, so do they keep you for like a couple of days in the hospital are

 

Kekua 19:50  

aged. I want to say it was three, three days. Regular birth, it’s like 36 hours, at least at that time. And then I stayed there because it was considered major surgery. You know, they come in and they massage to feel like if your uterus is going back to normal size, and if you are able to get baby to latch on and then also because it was major surgery, they can’t release you until you have passed gas. Which was I was like What do you mean? Because when your cavity is open and air can get inside, they’re concerned that there’s air trapped inside of your body.

 

Paulette kamenecka  20:30  

I only vaguely remember that was through some kind of bathroom task I had to complete and I was like, Oh honey, that’s never happening again. I’m not I’m not in that market anymore. I’m not

 

Kekua 20:42  

I did not want to give birth ever again after that. Oh my gosh, I remember having the the little Peasy out of the bottle. Yeah daughter because there had been a little bit of tear it wasn’t enough that I could feel it. It wasn’t like you know devastating of just a little bit. And so I was very relieved that I did not have to also go through that after major surgery with my son. Yeah, because there’s obviously nobody came out down there. And because they had washed the uterus there was very little so one thing that I absolutely did not know even after reading my what to expect when I’m expecting was that you were going to have you know, when you give vaginal birth. Give a period for about a month after that. Yeah, I did not know that after a C section because they wash your uterus out and basically clean off the lining. There’s not so much like there was I still had a little bit but it was not a whole month of a period afterwards. So that was nice. Yeah, yeah,

 

Paulette kamenecka  21:45  

yeah. Did you feel like you figured out how to move around and all that with the giant.

 

Kekua 21:50  

I was because my muscles were not super strong. Like I certainly did not get back to a bikini body after my daughter. I had plenty of weight and plenty of extra skin to which you know those stitches did not get pulled on picked my daughter up. I wasn’t supposed to but what sitting down, I would you know, because that’s upper body. I put her on my lap and for the most part, I was able to function pretty normally pretty quickly. So the turnout was I would say as optimal as could be hoped for if you had planned it in advance. We just

 

Paulette kamenecka  22:27  

plan it. Yeah, I mean, obviously such a great outcome mom’s okay babies, okay. But good lord, that is so unexpected and so shocking, really. Right. It makes sense that you’re in shock and shocking even here, so I can’t even imagine what it was like to go through. Now looking back at that. Would you have any advice for your younger self like is there anything you would have wished you had known going in? I wish that I had

 

Kekua 22:53  

been a little more active in my first pregnancy. I don’t know if I could have because of the nausea like I I understand now, which I did not understand them. But if you move a little bit more of your body adapts to things better when you’re moving than it does when you’re still but the reason that I was not moving was because I felt so ill. So I would like to think that if I could have moved around a little bit more, it would have been a little bit more of a comfortable pregnancy. My body was so sensitive like even laying in the bed. The bed felt so hard on my body when I was pregnant the first time and had the same bed in the second pregnancy and didn’t feel that so you know the hormonal changes are not the same in every single pregnancy. Yeah, in my second one. I don’t think so. When I was pregnant, I had this, you know, vision of I’m a bit of a hippie. I really wanted to have a home birth. Yeah, I wanted it to be as you know, natural and unpleasant as it could be. And I’m really glad that I did not go through with that because that would not have worked out for the for the deliveries that I had. That would not have worked out. Well for us.

 

Paulette kamenecka  24:07  

What changed you from the home birth to a hospital birth.

 

Kekua 24:11  

They didn’t offer it. It wasn’t covered in my insurance. Okay. So hospital was the only option that we had. Yeah. And that felt safe enough because like I said, my auntie was a labor and delivery nurse. So I knew that it was going to be any kind of like, number you know, people care about me. It was a horrible thing to say that you know, there has to be nepotism. You’ll see

 

Paulette kamenecka  24:42  

you and the numbers don’t lie. It’s a it’s an unfortunate thing to say. But here we are staring at you know, higher maternal mortality rate than any other industry. And although there is like a year there was killed in pregnancy, and some giant fraction of those are preventable. So you’re right, like women just aren’t taken care of well enough

 

Kekua 25:08  

after pregnancy. I think in the entirety of the medical industry, that’s probably yes. Right. But yeah, I would love to have had you know, like a happy to be little homebirth waterbirth whatever. And, you know, maybe that was the universe protecting me because it knew what was in store and that would especially with my second child that could have been disastrous.

 

Paulette kamenecka  25:30  

Totally, totally. That is it. That is almost scary to think about only because of the way it turned out right? Because you went to the hospitals featured any sign you imagine 40 hours was really more like two. Yeah, right. So like, nothing kind of went according to your expectation and I feel like based on your daughter, your bar was kind of low. I feel like if you had jibber for less than 40 hours you have thought that anything less victory is mine. Right? So it just it was so off the chart and does does anything about his birth match your son when he was out walking around?

 

Kekua 26:03  

He stayed being tactile sensitive. He did not like being touched. He did not like having his temperature taken. He’s still a little bit like he just he feels you know his sense of touch when he was very small. His comfort item was to like Kleenex is have like the layer of I guess lotion or whatever right to make them soft. His comfort item when he was very small with he would appeal to Kleenex as a part and then he would rub that that was his you know, some kids have a blankies Yeah, that was that was what he liked. He would like to touch that and he stay being sensitive to the touch Middle School. He asked me to stop touching his face because I’m a lifter, so I get calluses on my arms. And he’s like, Oh, it’s so scratchy. Please start touching. He doesn’t like it if I rub his skin you know if I hold his hand I can. I can give a little squeeze, but I can’t rub his.

 

Paulette kamenecka  27:06  

That’s totally interesting. I like it when there’s some aspect of continuity in some of the characteristics of kids that you can see. My second one was a scheduled C section and she came three weeks early. And she is very much on her own time. That’s true to this day.

 

Kekua 27:22  

Oh my gosh, you know, when you phrase it like that, I just thought she got it from me but my daughter is like we are always waiting for her. She is very much when she’s ready then she’s

 

Paulette kamenecka  27:35  

Yeah, yeah. From the very start, right. That’s what she was trying to tell you. This is how it’s gonna be. But we don’t necessarily we don’t always know what information to take from the gym or our children’s shoes to the degree that they can choose it. Well, thanks so much for sharing your amazing story. It is a story of total victory in the end right?

 

Kekua 27:53  

It feels like it somehow I managed to pull it around and raise a couple of wonderful babies and when things are really easy, and then they get hard. It’s kind of it’s way more difficult but when they start out rough, it’s a little it’s a lot easier to deal with all of the other things that come especially when you can just be like you know, you’re alive right now. And I appreciate that and that could have that could have very much not that the case.

 

Paulette kamenecka  28:18  

I totally agree you I appreciate the 3am yelling from the boy who required a crash C section right? You’re like oh, look at that. He’s a lot of singing. Yeah. Yeah, that’s awesome. Man. That’s a useful perspective.

 

Kekua 28:32  

It really is. It definitely informed my style of motherhood, to just be really, really happy that I have them. Yeah. I very much am aware how close both of them could have come to not to be here.

 

Paulette kamenecka  28:49  

Yeah, yeah, that’s totally true. Well, it’s awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

 

Kekua 28:54  

Thank you for having me. I love that you you have this because this is such a beautiful thing to share the truth to women because we, you know, we’re so conditioned to not acknowledge our difficulties and our pains and then when we’re so unprepared for them when they come. But I want to remind people that it is not the vast majority, but it is a possibility like that things won’t go the way that you dream. Not to not to panic and think that you’re dying.

 

Paulette kamenecka  29:23  

Just because well, they’re also but part of the problem is like that dream is based off some false story. Right? The truth of the matter is being pregnant and having a kid is an unbelievably demanding enterprise for everyone no matter what. Right? So. So that doesn’t come with rainbows. And and ice cream and butterflies, right that there are parts of it that are like that, but not all of it and the birth lasts for you know 40 hours and the long in the long stretch of it and then you get to have them for many many years if you’re lucky. Right. So yeah, it’s it’s really hard and you know, things are hard to predict. but it’s a blink of an eye.